what would we do without Gwyneth Paltrow? Whatever fun we’ve had from her as an actress – and she should get a retrospective Oscar for Contagion, the spooky plague movie in which she dies from a mysterious virus for about 20 minutes – it pales in addition of the cheerfulness it generates as a lifestyle guru.
Gwynnie’s latest contribution to the post-pandemic audit is a confession on the SmartLess podcast about her lockdown excesses. âI drank alcohol in my forties. I drank seven nights a week and made pasta and ate bread. I completely derailed. I mean, who has multiple drinks seven nights a week? As if it wasn’t healthy. I love whiskey and I make this fantastic drink called the Buster Paltrow which I named after my grandfather who loved whiskey sprays.
What there is so much to say about. As in, have you been drinking alcohol? Welcome to the human race. Who drinks more than one drink seven nights a week? If you count normal drinks such as wine and beer as âalcoholâ, where do you start counting? I love sour whiskey as much as anyone, but can I just say that Grandpa Buster wouldn’t have recognized, I repeat, something called Quinoa Whiskey, Gwynnie’s favorite. She couldn’t just drink rye, could she? And fall off the wagon and eat breadâ¦ now she’s on something.
The truth about frighteningly thin women is that they don’t put in any carbs. Try offering sandwiches at a beauty launch. This explains the slightly crazy expression of most of them – they would kill for a little bread and cheese, but they could never have it. Poor Gwynnethâ¦ again to claiming lettuce is as good as bread as a base for mashed avocado. If it helps, I put a rock while locking. Feel better now?
But let’s not be fooled into thinking that all of this is indicative of Gwynnie’s stupidity. On the contrary. She is launching Glow, a new beauty product (her daughter Apple was shown trying it out) from her lifestyle company, Goop. And Goop was valued last year at $ 250 million and could consider a public offering of shares. If Gwynnie’s revelations (and the backlash) further stimulate interest in this lucrative business, well, it’s the smart one. Not so commonplace.